Pride Month: 7 Ways to Be an Ally

By Jane Wen, Press & Written Media Team

June is officially Pride Month, a time to celebrate and increase the visibility of the LGBTQIA2+ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer or questioning, intersex, asexual or ally, two-spirit and other orientations) community. Gaining equality, liberation and justice for this community has long been a continuous and challenging battle. Sometimes, it might feel as if we’re taking one step forward and two steps back, with setbacks like anti-LGBTQIA2+ bills or hate crimes that still prevail. However, that makes it all the more important to be consistent in our efforts to fight for LGBTQIA2+ rights.

If you’re looking for ways to support the community this month and moving forward, here are seven ways you can be a better ally:

1. Commit to action items. One of the most obvious and practical opportunities to make an impact is to provide direct financial support to marginalized individuals, especially since they are essentially at risk in a society that makes it more likely for them to be kicked out of their homes, face prejudice in the workplace or even fear for their lives. According to a study done by the Center for American Progress, more than 1 in 3 LGBTQIA2+ Americans have experienced discrimination in 2020. Whether by donating regularly to a local fund or an organization that works toward social justice, buying from queer-owned businesses or attending more programs and workshops from members of the LGBTQIA2+ community, uplifting their platforms and being present is a meaningful way to show that you care.
2. Recognize and confront your own biases. One such bias comes in the form of heteronormativity, or the notion that heterosexual orientation and binary gender are default, natural aspects of human identity. This belief has been historically perpetuated by a range of traditions, cultures and media around the world; for example, you may be familiar with rom-coms that only depict straight couples, or the treatment of queerness as nothing more than a passing “phase.” Exposure to these concepts causes us to internalize these ideas. Heteronormativity invalidates the fact that there’s a vast spectrum with regards to both gender and sexuality. Keep this in mind the next time you might feel uncomfortable with somebody’s identity, speculate about a man wearing a “girly” outfit or hope that someone doesn’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend when you aren’t aware of their sexual orientation.
3. Display your pronouns. Aside from asking and respecting others’ pronouns, it’s important to share your own. This might look like introducing yourself with a “Hi, my name is… and my pronouns are…” and including your pronouns in the bio section of your social media or your email signature, if you’re comfortable. Normalizing the use of pronouns creates a safer and more accepting environment that doesn’t set specific LGBTQIA2+ communities apart. Furthermore, refrain from assuming people’s pronouns based on their looks, an action that upholds harmful gender stereotypes and pigeonholes people into certain labels. When you’re unaware of somebody’s gender identity, referring to them with “they/them” pronouns shows that you’re being mindful of it.
4. Call out homophobia when you hear it. Yes, this can be nerve-wracking, especially if the very people you’re calling out are your close friends and family or when individuals create a guise of harmlessness by a simple laugh or a “Can’t you take a joke?” Consider slurs thrown around about the LGBTQIA2+ community, calling things “gay” as an insult, not taking pronouns seriously or hinting at and reinforcing harmful stereotypes about certain groups. Microaggressions like these keep discrimination embedded within our society — but change can start with you. By stepping up and intervening in your own social circles, you’re already making a big difference. This doesn’t mean angrily criticizing individuals, which can alienate them from the cause and leave no room for change; instead, try talking it out together and explaining how they can do better in order to help them address their own prejudices. Silence, on the other hand, continues to reinforce the same hatred and oppression that endangers their lives.
5. Expand your horizons. Consume content from books, podcasts, films and other media produced by LGBTQIA2+ contributors addressing LGBTQIA2+ culture and issues, both historical and recent. Learn about current activists and pioneers and of the movement, like Marsha P. Johnson, a Black, transgender woman who led various pivotal protests demanding rights for gay people in the 1960s. Keeping your ears open to these stories, your mind open to learning and your perspective open to change is an integral effort in doing your part to welcome and celebrate LGBTQIA2+ members. Avoid performative allyship, which often manifests in the minimal-effort practice of reposting Instagram infographics that you may not have even researched. By genuinely educating yourself, you can effectively use your voice and privilege to amplify the messages of the community.
6. Stay present for your LGBTQIA2+ friends and family. Whether they’re comfortable with expressing themselves, questioning or still in the closet, it is difficult nonetheless to navigate identity in a heteronormative culture. Stick up for them when they need it and let them know that you’re here to listen to them, support them and accept them no matter what, even if you don’t understand the full extent of their struggles.
7. Acknowledge that making mistakes is part of the process. Rather than striving to be the perfect ally — an ideal that doesn’t exist — focus on becoming an ever-growing one. Defensiveness is anything but productive; if somebody from the LGBTQIA2+ community tells you that you’re doing something harmful, listen to them and be open to their feedback. Take accountability, correct yourself and move on. There’s no time to dwell on mistakes. Instead, like the age-old piece of wisdom, we must learn from them.

While it’s definitely important to rest and practice self-care alongside your activism, remember that it’s equally important to maintain the friction that keeps this movement going. Remember: the marginalized communities don’t get a break. The world cannot raise its rainbow flag for a month and retire to the status quo for the rest of the year; change should be tangible, not symbolic. We hope you’ll continue to be conscious, active and proud of the ally that you are becoming. Happy Pride Month!

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